Back to School
by Maglio Hays
Summary: The team is sent away to a training facility. Their instructors are being picked off one by one and students are next. Gibbs must deal with a team of probies, while investigating the murders from the outside. Hints of Tiva. T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Gibbs stands in the middle of the empty squad room. He turns once and scratches his head. He looks at the clock. It's way past the time where his team would be sitting at their desks. He wonders where the hell his team is. He flips open his cell phone and speed-dials Duck.

"Something wrong Jethro?"

"No Duck. I was just wondering if my team was down there."

"Sorry Jethro, they're not here, but you may take Mr. Palmer if you wish. He's been insufferable ever since he re-took and passed that class. You know, this reminds me of--"

"Not now, Duck!" Gibbs flipped the phone shut. He turned quickly and ran up the stairs to Vance's office. He strode into the office quickly. "Where the hell is my team?"

Vance doesn't look up from his report. "Relax Gibbs. They are at a one month training camp in Washington. I thought they needed some... re-teaching."

"Re. Teaching."

Vance couldn't tell if it was a question. "Yes, they all could brush up on a skill or two. I signed DiNozzo and David up for a computer course, McGee and DiNozzo for hand-to-hand combat, and McGee and David up for leadership. Each will meet with a shrink every day and each will take a course titled...." he searched through his papers "Ah, 'How to be Professional' There will be other federal agencies represented and I have specifically told them to be on their best behavior."

Gibbs realizes that the courses would be helpful and switches tactics. "What if I have a case?"

"I'll assign you some probies, or give it to another team. As a matter of fact, they should be in the squad room right now"

We see a sunny and professional-looking compound. Tony, Ziva, and McGee walk from a bus to the door, each carrying their luggage and looking over brightly colored booklets. An attractive young woman meets them at the door.

"Welcome to Fevdale Federal Training Facility! May I see your I.D.s?"

All three flip open their badges and chant in unison "NCIS."

"The sign-in is just inside to your right. I hope you have a pleasant stay!"

Tony removes his glasses and looks her over. "If everyone around here is as nice as you, I'm sure it will be." He smiles, and the three continue to walk. When they are through the door Ziva elbows Tony.

"We are signed up for a course on being professional! Did you ever stop to think why?"

McGee looks up from his booklet, "Because you two insist on acting like middle schoolers?"

"It takes one to know one, McGeek."

The scene cuts back to the door where the young woman is speaking quickly and quietly into a cell phone. She watches the three agents sign in. "Targets acquired."


	2. Chapter 2

We see a boxing ring, Tony, McGee, and about 15 other random people, none look to be in their best shape. A man who looks about 45 years old walks in the room. He is wearing glasses and he looks pretty nerdy. He begins to lecture the class on techniques of hand-to-hand combat.

Tony leans over to McGee, "I could take this guy no problem. 20 bucks says I beat the 'teach' in under ten minutes."

McGee lets out an exasperated sigh, "Deal. Just shut up, okay? I actually want to learn." The moment McGee closes his mouth another man runs up behind Tony, flips him over, and puts him a half-nelson.

"I guess you owe your friend 20 bucks."

We see Ziva, obviously uncomfortable, sitting on a plush couch in a very well furnished office. A woman with dark hair clears her throat and begins to speak.

"Miss Ziva David. You have quite an impressive record."

"Yes. I have been working at NCIS for over four years now."

"I see that. How are your co-workers?"

Ziva laughs, "They are an odd bunch."

The psychiatrist smiles, "Tell me about each one. Why don't you start with your partner…? Anthony… DiNozzo."

"Tony started working at NCIS before I started. He is very good at his job. He is smart, athletic, clever, and he has good observation skills. He is also what one would call… a movie buff."

"I have all of that on paper. I am more interested in how you interact with your team. Please tell me about your relationship, how you talk to him, how he talks to you, how you split up orders, that kind of thing." Ziva pales.

We see the squad room. Gibbs is on the phone while three nervous looking people attempt to work around him.

"There is an apparent suicide at Quantico. Grab your gear!" The probies look at each other. "Is there a _problem_, team?" All three scramble for an answer, but Gibbs does not wait. "Then grab your gear and let's GO!" Gibbs walks over to the elevator. Two probies follow with their gear. One stays behind, trying to pack everything in his bag. "Lander! MOVE IT!" The probie gives up and grabs everything and begins to run to the elevator. As he gets in, his bag hits Gibbs' coffee cup and spills it all over Gibbs. The probie's eyes widen and the elevator door closes.

We see the training facility. An on-base coffee shop is just opening up. A young woman unlocks the door and heads to the counter to start setting up. The hand-to-hand combat teacher is already sitting in a booth, reading a newspaper. The woman speaks, "Sir, we're not open yet. You need to leave." He doesn't move. He is perfectly still. She takes a step forward. "Sir?" She takes another step, and almost slips. She looks down. A river of blood runs straight from the man to her feet. She turns to run, screaming.

About 60 agents stand in front of the coffee shop, all vying for the young woman's attention. They all want this case. Ziva steps back from the crowd and pulls Tony and McGee with her.

"We do not even have a chance on receiving jurisdiction on this case. We should go to our first class."

"Fine, but if we got jurisdiction, we could be out of class until the case is solved."

"I think she's right Tony. There's no way we're getting this case. There must be ten different agencies here with people from every region. We should head to class; we don't want to be late."

"Okay, McNerd. You guys must've been really dorky in high school. What class do I have first?" They begin to walk away from the crime scene, talking about the day ahead. From an alcove the welcome-woman speaks into a cell phone.

"Phase One complete."

The scene cuts to the psychiatrist's office. McGee is sitting on the couch next to some odd-looking stuffed animals.

"Hello, Timothy or, do you prefer Thom?"

"Call me Tim." McGee smiles.

"Alright, Tim it is. I have read your book. It seems like it might reflect your team. Does it?

The smile on McGee's face slides away. He looks uncomfortable. "Well, I guess you could say it might have been _very_ loosely based on what could go on in any NCIS squad room, but I wouldn't say it was based on our team." The psychiatrist stares at him. "There might be a scene or two in which my characters may seem to resemble my co-workers, but it's not really based on our team."

"Now Tim, I have very detailed reports on each member of your team, and I have read your book. I don't know any of you very well yet and I already see a remarkable resemblance. Except there are a few things in your book that I don't see on the reports, would you like to explain that?" She smiles pleasantly. McGee gulps.

We see Ziva and Tony sitting in a room full of computers lined up in rows. Ziva and Tony are sitting in the back row. Ziva is paying attention and Tony is typing quickly into his computer.

"Tony! Pay attention!" Ziva whispers furiously while kicking him under the table.

"What? They're not going to teach us anything new today. We're still in the 'Getting to know each other' phase." The instructor at the front of the room notices the commotion.

"Miss David, Mr. DiNozzo, I would like to see you two after class. Pay attention, please."

"See what you did?" Ziva whispers. Tony sticks his tongue out.

We see Abby standing in her lab, looking at a fingerprint match on her computer. She is smirking slightly. She holds out her right hand, as if to hold something.

"What'cha got, Abs?" He places the Caf-Pow into her waiting hand.

"Fingerprints match the victim. Looks like a suicide." She takes a slurp of her drink.

"Thanks, Abs." He turns to the door.

"Not so fast, Gibbs! I think we have a mystery in our own house." She wears a face of suspicion.

"What?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"No need to be snippy! I have noticed a large absence of my favorite team and a presence of… probies! We may have another mole! This is serious stuff! When was the last time Ziva, Tony, and McGee were all gone at the same time?"

"Abs." He gave her a warning look.

"Exactly! Vance is testing your patent-pending, mole-sniffing, bad-guy catching, Gibbs-Gut! Maybe he wants you to find another mole!" She grabs a Sherlock hat and an old-fashioned magnifying glass. "We'll get 'em this time, Gibbs!"

Gibbs chuckled. "No, Abs. The team's away being 're-taught'."

"But then we'll have to train them all over again!" Gibbs gives her a look and walks out.


	3. Chapter 3

We see Tony sitting in the psychiatrist's office, lounging on the couch, looking warily at her.

"Well, Anthony, you have an… interesting record."

"Call me Tony. That's me. I'm a," he pauses for dramatic effect, "complicated guy. Nobody really understands me." He is testing her.

"Tony. This is safe place for emotions; there is no need to put up a wall."

He sits up and leans forward, "Well, in that case," he buries his head in his hands, "I just don't know what to do! It all happened so fast! I mean, one moment I was just going about my life and then, BAM," He looks at her, "The new director sends me to training classes I don't need and I psychiatrist I don't want!"

"Oh, you're a real treat, aren't you Tony?" He smirks.

We see Ziva sitting on a bunk bed writing in a journal. There is a knock at the door. She looks up.

"Can we come in?" McGee's voice floats in from the other side of the door.

"Yes." Tony and McGee walk in. They each have a toothbrush and various other toiletries.

"I don't see why we have to share a room." Tony grumbles. He notices Ziva's journal. "Well! What do we have here? Is this an innocent diary? Or a little black book?" Tony grins mischievously.

"It's a diary. The psychiatrist recommended it. If either of you touch it, I will know, and then I will kill you. Understood?" She did not look up from her journal.

"You actually listen to that load of crap? Psychiatrists are all crazy! Like in 'Basic Instinct' with Sharon Stone. The sequel was bad, but the original?" He stare off in to space, a slight smile on his face. McGee rolls his eyes. A scream echoes from the hallway. They look at each other, grab their guns and run out into the hallway. The psychiatrist is lying in a pool of blood in front of the elevator. There are agents emerging from every door in various states of dress. One team has already begun to rope off the scene. A man in a suit strides to the center of the lobby. "Ugh. That guy reminds me of my high school principle. Except of course, that my high school principle was a woman… still, he gives off the same vibe. Or maybe it was that she didn't look particularly feminine. I think it was the big hands… or the moustache." He trails off, knee-deep in memories of high school. McGee and Ziva look at each other, then at Tony. They are saved the trouble of responding by the man in the suit.

"Everyone, back up! This is a crime scene and I know that's like a magnet to you folks, but we have called in a team to take care of all of this." Multiple people ask which agency, but he plows on, "I will not disclose the agency, but rest assured, it is none of you," He looks around, silently daring anyone to speak. They stay silent. "We are calling in substitutes, so your classes will resume. You are all suspects and you are all under surveillance. We will catch the murderer. Go back to your rooms." No one dared to disobey a direct order from someone with so much authority, and the hallway emptied. With the hallway empty the director picked up a walkie-talkie. "Phase Two complete."


	4. Chapter 4

Within minutes Ziva had re-settled herself on her bed and had continued writing. When she finished she looked up to see McGee and Tony involved in a very physical game of 'War'. She knew the card game was not really supposed to resemble war, Tony had told her that years ago, but the game still puzzled her. There was no way to gain favor; you had to either cheat or let go of control. She didn't like playing, so she looked around for something else to do. She had already finished her homework and the two books she had brought with her. She decided to brush up on her sketching. It was one of the basic crime scene jobs, but she wasn't naturally talented. She knew Kate had been, and that bothered her. Ziva looked around for something to draw. There really wasn't anything interesting in the room other than the two boys. She sighed. She started to draw their basic structure. When she looked up they were in a completely different position! She shook her head and ripped out the page. It was no use drawing them; they were too active. She pulled a picture out of her bag. It was a picture of the team: Gibbs, Kate, Tony, Abby, McGee, Ducky, and Jenny. It was a good picture, really. Even Gibbs looked happy. She set it on her knee and began to sketch. She had finished everyone except Tony. She sighed. He was hard to draw. She started with his jaw line and then moved up to his hair. She smiled. It stuck up at various angles. Those were the easy parts. She moved to his nose and eyes. He was wearing sunglasses, so it didn't take her long. There was really only one thing left; his smile. She looked up, frustrated. Tony and McGee were staring at her. She looked down; was there something on her shirt? No. She looked at them

"What? Why are you staring?" Tony was smiling as if he had just pulled the best prank.

"Uh, Ziva? You were talking to yourself." McGee sounded concerned.

"I was not! I do not talk to myself! What would be the point?" McGee's brow furrowed, he was taking the question seriously

"Well, Zee-Vah, you were talking about me. How my jaw line is strong, how my hair sticks up at angles, how light glances off my glasses, the way my smile captures the essence of happiness." He grinned. "I'm sure your new shrink will be very interested in all of that. They're always interested in relationships." She paled.

"For your information, Tony, I was simply drawing the team." His smile didn't fade. It distracted her. "I was merely saying those things aloud because I was trying to convince myself that you had some redeeming features. Your ugly face is very difficult to draw." His smile faded. McGee laughed. Tony glared at him

"What's so funny, McGiggle? I'm sure you're next." He smacked McGee. Ziva looked up.

"Actually, McGee was very easy to draw. His came out very nicely." McGee grinned.

"Thank you, Ziva." Tony started to pout.

"If you two are done insulting me, I think it's time I got some shut-eye." Tony climbed the ladder to the bed above McGee's. He grunted. "Why did they insist on putting us in a room with bunk beds? Do they think we're ten? I mean, sure I wanted one really badly when I was a kid, but now it's just embarrassing." He crawled under the covers to the sounds of Ziva and McGee doing the same. McGee had just turned off the lights when someone started banging on the door.

"Let me in! Please! Someone's after me!" an anguished cry came from the other side of the door. Tony jumped from his bed, flicked on the lights, and opened the door. Ziva clutched her gun and her eyes flicked to where she knew another was. McGee sat up quickly, hitting his head on the bunk above. The welcome woman ran in and slammed the door behind her. She locked the door before falling over. Tony had just caught her when he noticed a trickle of blood coming from the corner of her mouth. Her breathing was labored. "Izzy Const--. I am… I- Izzy… Constance. FBI." With that, her eyes closed. Tony checked for a pulse. He looked at Ziva and shook his head. She was dead.


	5. Chapter 5

Ziva flipped open her cell phone. Three murders in two days. This did not look good. She was going to call the one person she knew could help. McGee looked up; he had dialed the same person.

Back in the squad room, Gibbs grabbed his phone. Ziva's name flashed, then McGee's, then Ziva's.

"What the hell does that mean?" One of the probies glanced at the blinking screen.

"Oh. You're getting two calls at once." Gibbs felt fear creep up from the back of his neck and lodge at the very top of his head. They wouldn't call him unless they really needed him. Two of them calling him told him they weren't communicating. There were only two reasons his team wouldn't communicate if they were in trouble. One was that they were split up. The other was that they were too panicked to think straight. He didn't like either option at all.

"Pack your bags. We're going to Fevdale."

"Isn't that where you team is?" Gibbs stared at the agent. "Right, on it, Boss."

McGee looked at Ziva.

"I was calling Gibbs, he didn't answer."

"That's because I was calling him, too. I will call him back. You help Tony with the body." McGee's eyes widened.

"What do you mean 'help with the body'? Aren't we just going to report it?" Ziva was already speaking rapidly to Gibbs. Tony turned to McGee. He held up Izzy's hand.

"Do you see this, Probie? It's a note. It says 'Trust no one.' That would include Mr. Principle-Man. We deal with this the Gibbs way." McGee gulps.

"How's that?"

"We get what we can from the body, _then_ we turn it in. Then we go to classes, pretending like nothing is wrong. We get what info we can without being conspicuous. It's like being undercover, only without back-up. Think… James Bond. Now help me with the body."

Gibbs was at the wheel of the charger. In the seat next to him was a white-faced probie. His eyes kept flicking to the speedometer.

"Shouldn't we… slow down?" Gibbs had to keep himself from smirking. Probies were so much fun. His face didn't show a glimmer of entertainment. Brian (the probie in the front seat) didn't know what was more terrifying; the way his new boss drove, or how comfortable he was with his driving. Gibbs didn't seem worried about his insane speeds at all.

"Gibbs, I think I'm getting sick." Anna, the probie in the back stated. Gibbs pointed to the glove compartment.

"Got a bag in there." Gibbs didn't care if she puked all over the back of the car. He was going to help his team.

Tony and McGee had just finished their search of the body. They put the evidence in baggies. They had a hair for evidence, a mold of the keys in her pocket, and McGee was downloading information from two cell phones into his laptop. Ziva was trying to sketch an accurate depiction of Izzy's injuries for Ducky. Tony was also writing down the information on her fake driver's license and credit card and her real FBI badge. They had just finished when a knock came at the door. Tony and Ziva grabbed their weapons. McGee cautiously opened the door. He jumped. Right in his face, at eye level, was the barrel of a gun.


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs was at the wheel of the charger. In the seat next to him was a white-faced probie. His eyes kept flicking to the speedometer.

"Shouldn't we… slow down?" Gibbs had to keep himself from smirking. Probies were so much fun. His face didn't show a glimmer of entertainment. Brian (the probie in the front seat) didn't know what was more terrifying; the way his new boss drove, or how comfortable he was with his driving. Gibbs didn't seem worried about his insane speeds at all.

"Gibbs, I think I'm getting sick." Anna, the probie in the back stated. Gibbs pointed to the glove compartment.

"Got a bag in there." Gibbs didn't care if she puked all over the back of the car. He was going to help his team.

Tony and McGee had just finished their search of the body. They put the evidence in baggies. They had a hair for evidence, a mold of the keys in her pocket, and McGee was downloading information from two cell phones into his laptop. Ziva was trying to sketch an accurate depiction of Izzy's injuries for Ducky. Tony was also writing down the information on her fake driver's license and credit card and her real FBI badge. They had just finished when a knock came at the door. Tony and Ziva grabbed their weapons. McGee cautiously opened the door. He jumped. Right in his face, at eye level, was the barrel of a gun.

"Where's the body?" grunted a tall man. He was a security guard on the lower level. McGee pointed to Izzy. He was stunned by the big man. It took him a minute to notice the four other security guards standing behind him. McGee gulped as the first guard and two others pushed past him. Two other ones stayed by the door as, well, guards. They grabbed the body and shoved her unceremoniously into a body bag. Then the first one began to set up a computer on the floor.

"A-Aren't you going to collect evidence?" They looked at him as if he was crazy. A female spoke up.

"No. And neither are you." Ziva stood up.

"And why is that?" She looked very ready for a fight. Tony stood as well. He crossed to her and blocked her body with his.

"Ziva, back up. There are five of them. We're going to do what they want." Her breath caught as she felt his body brush against hers. She pushed him gently. She couldn't have him so close. He didn't move. She could feel the warmth from his body, his breath, his heartbeat. She blinked and cleared her throat.

"I am fine." He relented and she started to breathe normally again. "I could take them." She whispered. Tony sized them up.

"Even you aren't that good." He whispered back. She assessed the situation. There were five of them, each in what appeared to be in peak physical condition. There were three on her side. She could usually take all five, but they had the evidence to think about, and it was a cramped space, and McGee and Tony weren't _great_ fighters. She sighed. Tony was right.

"Hey! No talking!" The other male one barked. "Put your hands up!" This wasn't good. They raised their hands slowly. The female checked them for weapons. A gun and a knife were each recovered from McGee and Tony. She also took their cell phones and I.D.s. Three guns and five knives were recovered from Ziva.

"Where do you _keep_ th--?" Tony started to ask. The male punched Tony before he could finish.

"No talking." Tony groaned. Some blood trickled down from his lip. The first man stood up from where he had been working.

"We are going on a field trip. You won't need anything other than yourselves. Carl!" he shouted to the man who had punched Tony, "Clean up that blood!" He turned back to the agents who glared at him, "You are all going to walk nicely to a car waiting just outside the lobby, or the Navy Yard will go up in smoke." He pointed to the computer screen, and McGee gasped. "Ah, you recognize it. Tell your friends what it is."

"He, he's aimed a nuclear bomb at NCIS headquarters."


End file.
